Friday, September 30, 2011

A Journey Encountering the International, Universal Christ at World Youth Day


Friday, September 16, 2011

"Cancer and Other C Words" by Marilynn Cruz-Aponte

My 46th birthday was marked with the dreadful discovery of a lump. My family had no history of cancer, yet I was diagnosed with the dreaded “C” word--Cancer.

Cancer brought a cascade of changes. It altered me physically. My body was pummeled by the impacts of surgery, reconstruction and chemotherapy. Once a beauty queen, the alterations to my body left me feeling as if I were looking at another woman—one not as pretty, not as feminine as the one I had previously known. There were emotional changes, tears, rage and confusion, “why me?”

Cancer gave way to monumental family concerns. It walloped my teen children with anxiety, crazed by thoughts of losing their primary parent. How would they live without mom? Cancer threatened our family structure. It worried and saddened my parents who could not fathom losing their adult child or imagine assuming a parental role once again. It instilled fear and led to painful projections about the future.

Shortly after I started chemotherapy treatments and my hair had fallen out, I was standing hairless in front of my mirror when one of my children said, “you have a baby head, soft and fragile.” I took in the kindhearted comment knowing it was a tender recognition of my weak state, my helplessness and vulnerability.

At that moment it became clear that cancer offered more than just changes and concerns. There were many more soothing “C” words that came from battling breast cancer—there was care. I came to graciously accept the care of others. Gifted doctors treated me. At home, loved ones nursed me. Loving family and friends sent cards filled with uplifting messages, written prayers and biblical scripture. Others prepared meals and school parents absorbed the carpool and after-school activity routines. Reliance on others was new but necessary. I grew in humility.

Cancer taught me to count, to count my blessings. Thanksgiving was no longer just a holiday but a part of daily prayer. I was grateful for living in a time of advanced medicine, grateful for the resources to secure medical care, to provide for my family. I was blessed to live in a community rich with loving relationships. I grew in gratitude.

Enduring the pains and sorrows of cancer cultivated my compassion. While I had always been a sensitive person, I now shared in the sufferings of others. I had come to know the challenges associated with cancer, the fear of death and my own mortality. I grew in my humanity.

Without courage cancer would have been the victor. Cancer could have destroyed the quality of my relationships and my life. However, with profound faith, I was able to summon courage to squarely face the villain. I grew in confidence.

Throughout the battle to survive breast cancer there were deep valleys but there were also many moments of joy. It was possible to rejoice and find gladness in each day. Celebrating life, despite the sorrows, was possible because I knew with certainty that the ultimate “C” word, Christ, was in the midst of my journey. He consoled me through my changes and concerns. His love was reflected in the care offered by family and friends. Through my relationship with Christ I was assured of his character; he did not abandon his children. He was devoted, compassionate and encouraging. I could celebrate because I believed in Christ’s promise and plans for me…..”plans for peace, not disaster, reserving a future full of hope for me.” I believe in everlasting life.

Join us at Holy Family as we celebrate Cancer Survivors along with their friends and families on Sunday, October 30. Click here for more information.