Please Wait for Me by Leo F. Flangan, Jr. Ph. D.

It’s more than 10 years since 9/11. Looking back I can see the journey that I and many others have taken. For each of us it is a unique journey – yet we share many paths. One thing we have in common is the difficulty of crossing the chasm created by our experience between ourselves and our loved ones. Another is letting go – not of what we have been through – but of the many habits and routines that just don’t feel right any more. We also face the challenge of letting our loved one’s know where we are on the journey.I can’t recommend how you should communicate to those you care for. I can tell you finding a way is essential.

I wrote the following entry, when the depression of PTSD was so heavy I couldn’t leave my easy chair. It asks my wife to wait for me and have confidence in my return.

Please Wait for Me

I know you love me. I know you worry for me. You feel the pain that springs from me.

I saw horrors and soaked them up like a sponge. I now know that fear is not something that you feel in the pit of your stomach – it is something that occupies your whole being.

You want to come back with me to the place where it happened. You want to understand for yourself. You want to see and feel what I feel. Please don’t. Please don’t try.

I seem distant and to myself. I don’t talk and laughter is a sound I can’t often find.

But you touch me in a way that heals. You are my connection to what we had and what we will have. You are my anchor in what was normal. Let me come to you. Give me time and I will.

I will do things and go places that seem to increase my pain. Sometimes you think I am risking my sanity and my soul. I am finding my way to healing. It will take time. Let me come to you. Be there for me.

Please don’t ever try to really share the horror and pain of this experience. If you join me, I fear we will both lose our strength. We will both be adrift. I need you to be where you are for me. Wait for me. Be patient with me. I will come back to you.

You have the hardest job. The most desperate. To stay where you are for me and let me complete my journey. Trust me that I am not lost – I am coming home.

And when I return, I will be different. I will be stronger than I was. I will have faith in myself. I will love you more…and we will go forward together.

Leo is one of presenter's for our Firefighter's Retreat February 24-26. Click here for more information or to register.

The End of the World ... as We Know it

Fr. Meninger has been a Centering Prayer teacher for 30 years. Click here for more information about Holy Family’s Advent Centering Prayer retreat.

It's that time of year again when we are given the ominous prophetic words concerning the end of the world. One line especially from the second reading from First Thessalonians has been given an over literal prominence; "We who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with those Christians already dead, in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air." This verse has been recognized for centuries by theologians as fanciful, apocalyptic language certainly not to be taken literally.

About 200 years ago a sincere but misguided preacher insisted it be taken literally and has acquired some considerable following. Many of them are sincere, many are paranoid, and some use it to exploit gullible Christians for their own financial profit.

Please note that the first reading from the Book of Wisdom contains a beautiful promise. Wisdom is available to those who seek it. Wisdom is knowing the will of God and how it is carried out in our personal lives and in the world. Many early Christians who read First Thessalonians lacked true wisdom. If Jesus was coming soon then there wasn't much point in going to work, growing food or getting an education. So they spend their time waiting to be caught up into the skies. The apostles did this on Ascension Thursday when Jesus ascended into heaven. An angel appeared and said in effect, “Why do you stand here idle, gazing up into the heavens, Jesus will come again in the clouds and glory…meanwhile, get back to work.” This necessitated the writing of Second Thessalonians in which they were told, once again, to go back to work.

Wisdom is also prominent in the parable of the wise virgins. Their wisdom was simply common sense, something we all need. Julian of Norwich is a veritable font of wisdom, that is, of common sense. She understood that God is a God of love. There is no such thing as the wrath of God. This is a human construct. God is not a judge, or avenger. He does not condemn , punish or criticize. Again, these are all human constructions. God is a God of compassion and forgiveness and he offers us not blame but pity.

In Heaven, Julian tells us, even our sins will be to our honor because God will reward us for our repentance. The greater our sins, the greater is God's compassion. This is why Jesus tells us that there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over 99 who have no need of repentance.

Wisdom, common sense, will tell us that if the Triune God is all-powerful, all wise and all loving, then this world which he created in his wisdom out of his love will come to the end for which he created it, namely himself.

The English Jesuit poet, Gerard Manley Hopkins, expressed this well in a poem called God's Grandeur.

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.

It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;

It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil crushed.

Why do men then now not reck his rod?

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;

And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;

And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell:

the soil is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.

And for all this, nature is never spent;

There lives the dearest freshness, deep down things.

And though the last lights off the black West went

Oh, morning, at the brown brink, Eastward springs –

Because the Holy Ghost, over the bent

World broods with warm breast and with, ah! bright wings.

So, even though we have spoiled it, the world is always on the brink of a new dawn. The theological virtue of hope is one of the three ways by which God communicates himself to us. This is not something he is going to do, he is always doing it. He is the promise and the fulfillment of the promise. He is the not -- yet and the already -- here. The victory has been won for us we have only to reach out and claim it. May God grant us the wisdom to do so. May you be happy, May you be free, May you be loving, May you be loved.

Father William Meninger

St. Benedicts’ Monastery

Snowmass, Colorado

For more information about Centering prayer and Fr. Meninger visit: http://www.contemplativeprayer.net/

A Plethora of Vocations by Fr. John Baptist Pesce

Most of us weekly pray for “an increase of vocations to the priesthood and religious life,” or something along those lines at the Sunday parish Eucharist. We are also encouraged to pray “for an increase of vocations”. The expression usually has it that “there is a shortage of vocations,” meaning a shortage of priests and religious, both male and female. And, if we pray for these the Lord will send laborers into the vineyard. Who can be “against” that?

All are equally called to holiness (relationship to God). There are no second class citizens here. There are different venues to answer that destiny. The share of God’s work to which we are called has something to do (however amorphous) with the reign of God working itself out in history. Granted this requires a more nuanced understanding of holiness than commonly accepted. But, by now, we should appreciate that this call to holiness doesn’t mean that some are called to be really holy and other, well, just about make it. There is no place for mediocrity in this call to holiness. Would you believe it, we are called to be saints! What we need among all the baptized is a willingness to answer this call to holiness whatever form this response takes in the concrete, nitty-gritty of life.

My suggestion is that what may possibly help in the present situation relative to the matter of vocations, narrowly understood, is to promote on all sides and for everyone a sense of vocation, comprehensively appreciated, namely, the realization that each of us has a call from God to do a share of God’s work in the service of God’s people. A heart specialist who is skilled in heart transplants as well as a park employee who picks up butts and other trash in a public park to remove some of the ugliness from the face of the earth. That goes for butcher, baker, nuclear scientist, nurse’s aide, sanitation worker. Think of the problem we’d have if we didn’t have garbage collectors! Whatever serves to humanize human life, whatever makes it easier to be good, whatever makes more for the type of society that all, deep down, are hungering and thirsting for.

To promote this mentality and the living of it because it is the truth, it seems to me would be an immense contribution towards the awareness that God may be calling some to a way of life that is that of the priest or of a sister or brother. With this collective awareness that we all have this call from God to do a share of God’s work in the service of God’s people, there is the possibility that the Spirit may awaken in some the realization, hey, it may be that God is calling me to do the life and work of a priest or sister or brother! In my judgment, it’s worth the try and there’s nothing to lose and plenty to gain even if, only by the individuals, who have this perspective on their answer to the call for holiness! Ordinary work, decent, upright, up building doesn’t have to be sanctified. It is sanctifying.

A discussion with Zen Master Dae Kwang & Father Kevin Hunt

Last summer, the Institute for World Spirituality in Chicago hosted a weekend Christian – Buddhist retreat led by Father Kevin Hunt OCSO and Zen Master Dae Kwang. Two days of silent meditation, with both Christian and Zen chanting. These are excerpts from the Saturday evening question-and-answer period.

Question: In Christianity, what is important for many people is devotional type experience-thoughts, hymns, psalms all directed to a personal God. This brings much warmth and comfort to many Christians. Now this is a dimension which is not apparent in Buddhism. I am wondering how to understand that. Is this devotional spirituality, which involves thinking and images and relating to a personal God, extraneous in Buddhism – say, something Christians do because they do not have a correct understanding of the Still Point or Buddha Nature?

Father Kevin: In Christianity, you have to consider what is the meaning of “God.” Speaking about God is not the same as knowing God. If you ask me, “What is God?” I’ll answer, “God is a three-letter word.” When it comes down to what these words and images really mean, you run up against a blank wall of Unknowing. There’s an old Christian saying that any affirmation of God is a denial of God. So the question of theistic devotion in Christianity is not a simple one.

Also, the whole question of God in Buddhism is not simple either. When Buddhists talk about God are they talking about the same God that Christians do? No. In Buddhism, the gods are still in the wheel of samsara (karma, rebirth). If Christianity had a wheel of samsara, we would never be able to place God on that wheel.

In the West, most Christians would not be comfortable with a term like Shunyata — the void or infinite emptiness. But these words may be closer to God than many of the concepts and images we use!

Question: In Christianity, the deepest level of experience is described as an I – Thou relation between you and God. Can you explain why there is no I – Thou relation in Buddhism?

Dae Kwang Sunim: In Buddhism, we say that everything is one, so there is ultimately no I – Thou. If you take away the idea of “I” and take away the idea of “Thou,” then what is there?

Question: So there is no ultimate relationship in Buddhism as there is in Christianity?

Dae Kwang Sunim: Everything is relationship. Everything is direct connectedness; you just think that it isn’t. Our job is simply to become one with everything. That’s being relationship. So if you take away the idea of “I” and take away the idea of “Thou,” what do you get? Quick! Tell me! [No answer.] I’m sitting here answering your question. That’s better than any idea concerning “I – Thou” relationships.

Question: Would you describe how you became interested in Zen practice?

Father Kevin: I didn’t get interested in Buddhism and Zen as something I wanted to study. I basically got into it because the traditional Christian explanations of what my practice was didn’t quite satisfy me. Like a drum, to get the right tone, you have to tighten the skin on the drum head. So, too, in order to firm up my practice, I learned some of their ways of doing things.

Dae Kwang Sunim: I was raised Christian. The reason I went to Buddhism is much like what Father Kevin said. The Christian tradition I was raised in didn’t have any contemplative practice. I became interested in Zen Buddhism because it contained a very strong tradition of practice. I saw it not so much as an alternative to Christianity but as offering something I had never encountered before.

Question: Were you dissatisfied then with Christianity?

Dae Kwang Sunim: I wasn’t dissatisfied. I wanted something different. Actually, many people use Zen meditation to realize what Christianity is all about. Zen, you may have noticed, is very generic. It’s like drinking pure, cool water when you’re thirsty. Zen points to something before thinking, before all your ideas. Actually God is before your idea of God, and so is Buddha. And what is that? What are you? That’s the question! And how do you attain that?

Buddha likened the human situation to a man who has just been shot in the chest by an arrow. Before he gets treated for the wound, he wants to know who shot the arrow. He also wonders which tribe made the arrow. How strong was the bow and what trajectory did the arrow take to pierce his chest in such a manner? While he is asking these questions, he dies. The most important thing in this situation is getting treatment.

The Buddha was only concerned with one thing: human suffering and taking away human suffering. He refused to talk about anything else because it was not helpful to people. He went instead right to the heart of the matter, the matter of life and death. Christ, too, was not a scholar; he was not a theologian. He pointed directly to the human condition and how to relieve it. If you look at it that way, everything else pales.